The Reality of Marriage

Categories: Personal.

Dustin and I are 19 days (WHAT?! When did that happen?) away from our wedding day. My mind is still constantly swimming in my never-ending to do list and thinking about all that has to be arranged between now and then, but I know that regardless of how the day works out, it will be exactly as it should be. Projects are kicking into full gear (see a few from last week here), but the actual purpose and meaning of the day has never slipped my mind. Dustin and I are joining together as partners and teammates for the rest of our lives. We have agreed time and time again that we don’t want our relationship to change from how it is now, but I know that as we face challenges in life together and expand our family later in life, our marriage will be tested.

So, to all my married readers out there, I’d love to know. What advice do you have for us? What are some valuable things you have learned along the way that you’d like to share? Or if you’re not married, what is a piece of relationship advice you have or have been told that you’d like to pass on? Leave a comment and let me know.

A few months ago my mom, grandmother and I went shopping while I was home for a visit in Maryland. While my mom went to get the car, I had a few minutes to just chat alone with my grandma, so I asked her what her number one piece of marriage advice would be. I loved hearing her response, because she and my grandfather have a wonderful marriage that has spanned 50+ years. Her advice? To always respect one another. She said that regardless of the things that they have been through all those years, they never got into loud, verbal yelling arguments, and she believed that their ability to communicate during times of trial and tribulation was due to a mutual respect they have for one another that they always keep at the forefront of their marriage. I loved that. So, I’d love to hear what everyone else might suggest to us :)…just a few of the projects I’ve been working on lately. From L-R, top to bottom…fabric poms for the aisle (and my assistant, Riley), the finished product, awesome Mr. and Mrs. barnwood signs that Ms. Sammy Markomanolakis did for us, our jute twine C for the ceremony, our amazing chalkboard menu that Sammy also did (get in touch if you want her contact information!), and maps I spent last night cutting as part of our favors :) That picture is of Enid, OK, where Dustin has spent the last 5 1/2 months for work (P.S. I’m loving that he’s home!)

13 Comments Sweet As Tea

  1. Brandi Hutchins says:

    Compromise. When you don’t see eye to eye , the ability to meet in the middle will be important to thriving in marriage. Congrats! Wishing you both lots of love and happiness!!

  2. Beth says:

    I am super excited to see your wedding photos!

    If you can remember that you are on the same team and try to look at conflicts from that perspective, it really helps! What’s good for one should ultimately be good for the other :)

  3. Anna K. says:

    I can’t wait to see everyone’s advice! Brittani, I can’t believe how close your big day is!

  4. Amanda Foster says:

    Always make time for one another, I work 7 days a week, so we make sure Tuesday evening is our date night. We have a routine down-pack, no cell-phones and its $5 all you can eat tacos at a local resturant, then we go grocery shopping together. No card, amount of flowers or presents can beat genuine time together. And something his mother told me, you don’t have to agree with their opinion but in order to be sucessful at problem solving you have to respect it.

  5. Jennifer says:

    Wedding Day Advice:
    Enjoy every single moment. From the time you’re getting ready to, the I DO’s, to the party. Enjoy it. It goes by way too quickly. There will be a few things go wrong, but nothing will stop you and Dustin becoming husband and wife that day. My photographer actually said to me, “I wish I could photograph you for every wedding. You’re so calm and relaxed. I love how much fun you’re having.” Seriously…she said that to me. Want to know why? Because I knew that if the flowers were wilted, the band didn’t show up, the cupcakes were late, whatever could have not gone 100% according to plans, that THAT was the day that Steven and I were going to become 1 in front of God and our family & friends. It sounds so cliché, but seriously, just enjoy this one day in all its glory!

    Being Married Advice:
    Talk. Every day. About everything. Communication will keep your relationship strong. When you agree with each other and disagree with each other. Always talk it out. And cherish him every day. Every day make sure he knows that he is the most amazing person in your life!

    jennifer s

  6. Gemma says:

    When we got married we got the usual advice:
    - Never go to be angry
    - Always say you love each other
    - Be respectful of each others opinions
    - Learn to compromise

    One of my mom’s clients told me that you always have to laugh together. She said her and her husband had been married for over 50 years and some of her best memories are when they are just laughing together or at each other. I just thought it was the CUTEST thing ever!

  7. Carly says:

    always remember why you fell in love with him.

  8. Stephanie says:

    Give one another 100%. Don’t settle for giving one another 50%. If you’re both giving everything you can, then you’ll also be receiving everything you can hold. It’s not a perfect formula, but it works pretty well.

    Happy wedding to you! And even happier marriage. :)

  9. Jenny says:

    - Make sure you set aside time for date nights. Put in on the schedule.
    - Share the chores or divide them up so both are happy.
    - Talk. But more importantly…. Listen.
    - Try to go to bed at the same time.
    - Enjoy the simple things like taking a walk with the dogs.
    - Find things that you both love and that makes you laugh.
    - Respect each others nerdiness/hobbies etc.
    - Look him in the eyes when you say I love you or good night. So often we just say things in passing… but to look each other in the eye makes sure it has a stronger impact.

  10. Abby Grace says:

    Never stop pursuing one another! We’ve only been married a year and a half, but I know the times that I struggle the most are when it’s been a while since Matt’s left me a sweet note or done something thoughtful out of the blue. Also, don’t ever let your spouse forget what a blessing they are to you, how glad you are that they’re yours. And lastly, start to stock pile memories of the times when you’ve been the MOST grateful for your spouse, and file those away for the times when you’re not all sunshine and butterflies. It’ll remind you that despite your current frustrations, you KNOW you’re still crazy blessed to be married to this person!

  11. Andrea says:

    You will be a beautiful bride, Brit. Respect is #1 (I totally agree with your grandma), always say please and thank-you! I know it sounds trivial and simple but it sure goes a long way and you’d be surprised how many couples stop saying those two phrases and that’s when they start feeling like they are being put upon. and after 20 years of marriage my last piece of advice….never let the spark die – keep it fresh, loving and meaningful.
    Best of luck to you!

  12. Anne Brooke Bowling says:

    Close your eyes when you are angry and hug him,picture the man and feel the feeling you felt when you fell in love and try to always remember and SEE the things you fell in love with about him. And yes;always always respect each other and the other’s opinions and feelings.
    You will be one beautiful bride…I can’t wait to see you and celebrate the love and happiness you have found together.

    I love you, Britt.

    Aunt Annie

  13. Jenny Marvin says:

    Hey Brittani!

    I haven’t met you, but I saw Melissa Jill’s post on you and thought I’d check out what you do. LOVE IT!!! You’re a fantastic photographer and blogger I might add. I went through some of the business posts you had written and blogged about some of my goals after reading yours. As far as marriage advice… I think you can never get too serious. My husband and I have been married for a year and sometimes we forget to be playful with each other and still DATE each other :) We got caught up in work and the many other little things that end up being nothing. So, Best wishes for a beautiful wedding!!! I look forward to reading more of your blogs!


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